I am extremely pissed right now and people need to thank their stars for not being near me. I can call up and shower a few words but I am going to refrain from such an action. When the water finally touches the rim, that'll be my cue to unleash what has been brewing in this head.
While I jot down the above lines, I am well aware of the fact that I am hormonal tonight. The mentrual cramps have gotten the better of me. In the past week I have been extra chirpy so I guess it was a matter of time before this current state of mind set in. I wonder if I am indeed most patient? Recently, I was witness to a dear friend sucuumb to a happily never after and I also enjoyed the bad fortune of being part of someone's memory- a couple's first fight! I must say I do have a knack for placing the self in uncomfortable situations. Throughout their fight, my heart was smiling because I knew I was never going to have that argument. I would never have any argument in front of a third person. It is one of those things I would never do no matter what equation I may share with the people around. This is why I wonder, am I one of the more patient ones around? Rie tells me that she isn't half as strong as me. It was her way of justifying the drinking and excessive smoking. I felt sorry for her, I did. She has been one of my closest friends since college and I wish I could be there for her everytime she needs someone but that's impossible. We need to fight our own battles. While she may think I am strong, and I am to an extent, we still have our process of healing, of dealing with the many tests or setbacks that are thrown our way. Let's hope this jar of self boosting confidence doesn't run out of stock soon.
For now my unrequited anger (if I may say so) has chased the winter chill away. Since writing this post isn't helping much I shall now move to option B -- switch off the lights and try to get some sleep. I hope the distance between night and day is short enough.
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