This Girl's Diary: My happiness

March 27, 2011

My happiness

I love the fact that I have the option to choose where I want to be and, more importantly, to do as I please. It has been a productive weekend with two assignments out of the way. The coming week should be a challenge in many ways, with my fieldwork starting this Wednesday.

Tonight I sit here reliving some 'Boys over Flower' moments. To the majority, this may seem like a rites de passage. Only this time, it is an etiology of my fascination with Han cinema. A big dish of noodle soup, a small bowl to complete the serving and a surprising fascination for Goo Jun Pyo, the character (still not to over shadow Kim Bum though). I feel content tonight. It feels like an altogether different planet where I am the sole citizen. No judging eyes, no sentiments to be kept in mind, just me and my right to enjoy the bliss that comes within the confines of these four walls.

It takes some people a lifetime to figure out wherein lies true happiness. For me, this is it. My happiness is a feeling that stems from simple moments. A phone call from home. A dance video of my niece. A hand for me to hold. An ice cream on my way to class. A coffee on a cold winter's day. A hug from a dear old friend. A song whose lyrics emanate my thoughts. A lone drive and good music for company. An appreciation from my teacher after a much awaited presentation. A walk in the summer night. My Thursday lunch in the hostel.

There is so much and more to live for, to look forward to. This is my life and I like it just the way it is.

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A note for the readers

Dear Stranger,

We've shared a one sided relationship over the past few years. It began for us in 2003 when I started my first blog. A few years later I decided against it due to two chief reasons- I wasn't a regular and my writing credentials were best portrayed in my diaries. Somehow the idea of seeing my neat handwritten journals gave me a far greater sense of satisfaction than Microsoft word ever could. It seemed (and still does) to me a feat I achieved minus automatic spell checks and grammatical corrections; a very important one at that and one which I carry till date.

Back in the blog industry for a second time, this was supposed to be my secret haven. A much needed outlet to pour my deepest thoughts. Regrets I may have, anger I may want to unleash, opinions I may want to make and hidden feelings I might want to express. Things haven't exactly worked out according to plan. Strange as it may sound, I feel a constant fear of being judged according to my writings. As a result, these posts represent only a decent chunk of what I may have liked to say otherwise. I constantly keep you in mind. You may or may not know me but it does not stop me from getting paranoid nonetheless. So if you are here today hoping to know my deepest secrets, don't bother to read further. Technology can only get you this far.