Two steps short but full circle nevertheless

I am officially a CSP veteran. I don't want to reveal the full form just yet, it is for those who know me well to understand. Yes, I am still chasing deadlines for completion of my second chapter and yes, my mood graph is experiencing high and low points since the past two days. After all it is that time of the month again. I just realized that right uptil last year I was a novice, stepping into an arena I had avoided for the longest time. Tonight I join the hall of shame. I have succumbed to the pain and misery in store for those who dare to dream this big. Surprisingly though I am unaffected. Why am I normal? How come I am being gracious in defeat? I suppose I knew exactly what to expect and perhaps I am too worried about my research right now. I hope to be done with this chapter by midnight which means I have come a long way since staring at two lines just ten days back.

I caught up with some old friends on skype, and had a series of visitors last week from my cousin and her husband to my best friend from Singapore. It seems to me like people are constantly upgrading their lives, whether it be at the career front or something as lame as cooking skills. I look at myself and wonder if I could say the same? Have I really progressed? And I understand that I have moved in a circle. Like they say in the cliche quote "Life comes full circle". I have moved from one place to the other, exchanging a reasonably comfortable time for bigger pursuits, always tried to use my head and took decisions that were hard on the self too but did it nevertheless. At times I just wanted to throw my shoes in the air and fall back on the couch but, sooner or later, I was back on track. And today I have reached a point where I'm slowly retreating my steps to return to the pond. Full circle, it is!