Cyden in a quandary

Marriage. Commitment. Assurance. All these words scare me. They do. 

I know now is not the time to ponder over this issue but it is THAT time of the year again. How do I overlook?! I happened to get a sneak peek of a wedding that took place three days back back home. The couple were my super seniors so it was about time they got hitched. Confession: I randomly calculated the must-be age of the bride and it stood at 32. Once you cross your mid-twenties, how do you avoid such ponderings? It started with me feeling broody while in Deen, then my surprising affection for kids, quality time with my niece and a mentally set date for pregnancy and motherhood. Yes, I have always wanted to be a mother by the time I hit 30. Of all the people, my mother laughed it off when I mentioned it on more than one occasion but I told her I was serious. Far-fetched and futuristic maybe but I’ve always been a planner.

 

So far as this season is concerned, my first invite is for the wedding of a very close friend who is tying the knot with his girlfriend of seven years. I started off four months ahead of him in the dating race and while five years down the line I called it quits, they settle for a happily ever after. I am delighted for both of them because they truly deserve each other. Moreso because they are among the lucky few who hit jackpot almost instantly. The friendships I forged back in college have not been vain. Wherever, whenever and however, I know we shall always remain true friends. For now though, I am in a dilemma. Do I attend or skip this wedding? I hate the fact that all the good stuffs line up when you have a major examination to prepare for. How can I not be a part of their wedding?!

When Jd came to Sikkim in the summer, I was super excited to show him around and we made a three day trip to North as well. Normally I would have made the necessary arrangements and excused myself but this was Jd! My buddy, my pseudo saheli, my bumchum (okay not exactly, but you get the point). As far as I know his holiday was worthwhile with Sunny's filmy antics, all the family stories at the birthday get-together, group songs at my Uncle's place in Mangan and the dry Saturday night out (where he wanted to be introduced to girls and the only people I spoke to that night were men!). The bottomline is that I was happy to give him an enjoyable time in home turf. He has been a good friend and most patient listener, even if some of my rantings catered to a more female audience. He is the second to be hitched from the group and now all of three girls remain. We promised each other we'd be there for the big day but Mimar's was a hurried ceremony where even the bride and groom had no idea they'd be a married couple by the end of the night.

Hmm. Examinations come and go but a friend gets married only once. Maybe I will go for his wedding after all. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity. All friends are going to be there and it will be a memory to cherish. Lord, I hope this is the right decision.