A christmas episode

As I stood there in line at the Big Bazar with a larger-than-life trolley for six items to be exact- 2 toothbrushes, Dettol soap, facewash, Vaseline body lotion and a litre of Thumbs up, I had a flashback. 

It was Christmas day in Deen and I was in Sainsbury, standing in line, like the hundred other solitary reapers who were there to fetch their silent meals on a cold winter afternoon which is otherwise supposed to be filled with warmth, care, affection and all things family. While the entire universe knew about all shops being closed on the 25th, I was earning double the hourly wage for working a late night shift at Marks & Spencers the night before. I had another shift to cover from 11pm to 6am in preparation for the much touted (and superbly amazing) Boxing day sale. However, the chore of the moment was filling my empty fridge with some groceries. This is how I ended up at Sainsburys for a brief while.

Ready for the walk

It was going to be a lonely christmas alright, but this feeling was topped by a fight with my then boyfriend. Being an Arien first, and a woman later, I accept drama is what I do at times. All those movies about fluffy romances and life changing queries about 'The one' were going to have some repercussions in reality after all. Well this was my reality! So I walked all the way to the mart, blindly proceeded towards the wine department, followed by a brief halt at the frozen food section and the final stop at the till. As the line slowly moved ahead, I heard a voice from behind comment, "Wow! It doesn't seem like a good christmas for you." It was an elderly man with J.K.Rowling-like eyes staring at my purchase. Turns out, white wine and chips was all I needed to get through the day. It was an awkward moment because right uptil then I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing!

Now when I look back and think, perhaps I was looking for a replacement for medication that day. I am no alcoholic, I cannot even bottle down a breezer (a shameful confession) without reaching cloud nine at the end of it, but I knew that bottle was all I had to keep myself from crying that day. I have never celebrated Losoong, let alone celebrate Christmas, but somehow these holidays hold more depth than mere surface value opinions. For the first time in my life, I was alone. A holiday in a foreign land and no one to share it with. No family, no friends, no neighbours, no one. It was such a tough phase to pass. This is why today when I stood in line with all of six items, I smiled thinking about that day back in 2008. I have grown so much since then. We spend a lot of time grilling ourselves over the complexities of life, but when we look back it always seems so insignificant, so petty. Maybe thats why they say one shouldn't take life so seriously because no one gets alive anyway. 

Well what can I say? I survived!