A New Start

From the time I stopped updating my blog altogether till today when I feel like it is time to get back to blogging, much has happened. 

My greatest joy has come from motherhood. Becoming a mother for the first time to my hyper active baby girl is easily the most rewarding experience for me. Except for that one day when I faced severe stomach ache, my pregnancy was a breeze. No cravings, no morning sickness, no tantrums. I made pre natal visits to the doctor on a monthly basis. Despite the radiologist telling me that there really was no need for me to get an ultrasound every month, I got it done nevertheless. Curiosity and paranoia ensured that I did not heed his advice. 

The night I went into labour is a memory I cannot erase. Throughout my pregnancy, the one thought that kept me going was the fact that my grandmother had delivered twelve children in her lifetime, all through natural delivery. While most of my contemporaries almost immediately decide on a C-section birth, I wanted to trudge along the same path as my late grandmother and so many women before her as well as from my mother’s generation. 

It was 11 pm and I was ready to go to bed after discussing potential baby names with my husband. He had already popped inside the lavatory for his daily rendezvous with the toilet seat. I started to feel a faint discomfort so I kept changing positions to see which one would ensure a peaceful sleep. To my dismay the pain got worse over the next hour. By the time my husband decided to call it a night, I was up and about, taking deep breaths and walking around the room. He asked me if I was in labour but how was I to know? Given the severity of the pain, we decided to wake up Yangchen, a dear friend, who luckily was spending her short family holiday with us. She told me that I could be in labour so we rushed to the nearest hospital. The nurses there told me to lie down in a cramped up labour room which to me seemed to be a two bedded room which had been converted into a five bedded labour waiting room. I had two women giving me company. The first one was already screaming in Bengali, so I assumed she would be well on her way to the Operation Theatre (OT) in no time. The second lady just sat there turning from side to side after every fifteen minutes or so. I asked her if she was also experiencing contractions, but she said she was a long way off from delivery. She was simply under observation for the night. 

At this point, I need to make a special mention of the Head Nurse on night duty. She was easily one of the most vile, foul mouthed persons I have met in my lifetime. Every time I screamed for help during contractions, she would pass the nastiest comments. Given the intense pain, I was in no condition to start any kind of verbal argument. It was much later that my blood boiled. A brother in law who saw me being wheeled out of the OT never forgets to remind me of the one line I uttered as soon as I saw my husband in the waiting area. “DO NOT GIVE ANYTHING TO THAT NURSE”. Apparently, I became unconscious after giving this ultimatum. 

8.5 hours of pain that literally had me knocking the doors of heaven and I was finally able to welcome my daughter, Zen, into this world at 7:25 am on 1st October, 2018. She was a heavy baby at 3.8 kilos. The initial days as a new mother did not feel like a life changing moment as they show in most movies. I was at my weakest, both physically and mentally. I had a crying baby to feed at regular intervals and stitches that needed healing. I think the first forty days are the toughest for new parents. It is the time when the new mother and father figure out how parenting works. The welcome ceremony for my daughter after discharge from the hospital was an emotional moment. I sat there under the shower for a good thirty minutes every day for the first week and cried my heart out. I was emotionally drained and in need of support. Post partum depression is real. I may not have succumbed to it but I do know now that new mothers are most likely to suffer from it. 

Since the birth of my daughter, life has taken a turn for the best. Before pregnancy, I had limited social interactions and not much has changed since she has arrived. She takes up all my time when I am home. Every day is about learning something new about her. She is a healthy girl who is growing up to be a fast learner and an entertainer.

We have named her Selden Gerel Zangpo.
Selden stands for 'from the house on the hill'.
Gerel stands for 'light'.
Zangpo stands for 'good'.
In short, it stands for positivity emanating from the house on the hill.