Even though I may be in the
academic field for now, I have known this for a few years that I want to be in
the bureaucracy. Especially so in the last few weeks, I have been wondering why
I am so desperate to grab a share of the public sector. The answer came to me
in one word yesterday – control. Most of us like to talk about ‘people in power’
but I want to go a step further by dissecting the concept of power.
What is it about power that makes
it so tempting?
The ability to control – control over
resources, people etc. The fact that your opinion matters.
If today I dream about joining
the system, it is only so because, alongwith the desire to contribute towards
the betterment of our society, I want to be powerful in every sense of the
word. Yes, this post can also be called a confession of sorts. Whenever I
attend seminars and workshops, I see the respect and recognition awarded to
civil servants which makes me feel a bit frustrated on the inside. These are
the times I realize that unless I win myself a share of the cake, I will go
unnoticed.
So, tonight when I heard about
the newest batch embarking on a trip to the West for a training programme, I
felt a bit jealous. I could have been one of them. I should have been one of
them. But this isn’t the case. I need to wait for a while longer before I know if
I truly deserve to dream such dreams. This will be my wake-up call.
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