The talk

On the first of this month, I had the most uncomfortable conversation with Dad. I was to tell him about Dengyal's presence in my life and the possible dates for an engagement, the Khachang. Unlike most fathers, Dad has always been rather vocal about our dealings with the other sex. He always told me that the goal should be to become an independent woman. Once that had been achieved, then he would make tea for my boyfriend whoever he be. He was not bothered about caste, community or race. So when I sat down with him for a tell-all, he was quick to let me know how disappointed he had been with me for not sharing these details sooner.

"As your father I have always told you this, Cyden. 
You never came up to me and now that you are here finally, it is only because the dates have already been finalized".

He was right. My future mother-in-law had consulted a monk and decided that 10th April is when the engagement could take place. Earlier that day I had requested Mum to break the news but he wanted to hear this from the horse's mouth, in this scenario that was me. The discussion lasted close to forty minutes and by the end of it I was drowning in tears. Dad can end up saying the most cruel things at times. Diplomacy is not his thing. Today he said I was free to do what I wanted and he would be happy if I was ready and sure about the partnership. I was upset because I wanted him to be happy for me. Not simply because I was happy for myself but because he agreed I had made the right decision. 

As I make this entry after a few days have passed, I think he was justified in reacting the way he did. I never openly spoke about my relationship with Dengyal and the tid bits he heard were from lesser known people (who I must say need to mind their own business). I would be extremely disappointed if I were to switch places. But, on my part, beyond all the frank conversations with Dad, we were never friendly enough to discuss 'boy' stuff. We only ever managed to indulge in serious conversations. I knew Dengyal was going to mean something much more in life but I wanted to share it when things were clearer. Now that we have the green signal, there is a lot to be done in the next few days.