It has been a rough Christmas eve this year. I knew I was going to be spending it alone, but I wasn't prepared for the tears. Yes, I cried like a baby last night. I have been extremely upset after knowing about a certain conversation that took place ten days ago.
Some jokes are funny so long as they are harmless, but when they cross the limit it can be difficult to digest. For the longest time I have heard that I have a strong personality. No matter how hard I try to be otherwise, I guess this Arien trait shines through sooner or later. I would like to believe that this is a good thing. I am independent and yes, I do have a lot of passion in me. I also know that I always try to help loved ones think logically. For me, you always need to use your head before the heart kicks in. Practicality, that's my mantra. But yesterday I was told in a very casual way that I may have been the catalyst for a certain decision. That it wasn't the person in question who decided on his own, but 'twas I who made him do so. I didn't know what to say. Firstly, I cannot force people, especially adults, and, secondly, it was pretty much the opposite infact. But who is to tell? The truth is I wasn't hurt because of the stated assumptions. It was the casual manner in which it was thrown at me that spelt indifference.
"........ thinks you bullied me into ........."
How can you joke about it when clearly it is no longer humorous?! Do you see me laughing? Sometimes you need to understand the gravity of the situation. Unfortunately, it is pretty lost on the person in question and that is precisely what disappoints me moreso.
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