This Girl's Diary: And February is here

February 9, 2009

And February is here

I figured that I get the urge to pen down my feelings only when I am feeling low. Well today is a bit different. No complaints whatsoever, just thankfulness and gratitude towards god for making me embark on this incredible journey called 'life'. Over the years I have learnt so much. I can proudly say that I have been able to see (and experience to some extent) the two sides of life. I have explored and had dialogues with some of the most deprived people in the world today and, in the same breath, I have been able to see the posh side of life in a western developed society. As I work my afternoon shift in the Chinese restaurant, I wonder what is the need for three kinds of drinking water? In case you are wondering what the variations could possibly be- the people here opt between sparkling, still and normal water. Water scarcity was always a problem but it is now coming into focus more than ever before. To some, just getting drinking water is a boon. Such is the irony of life. Many more questions come into my mind but as I write this I am blank.

I always dreamt of living abroad but now that I am here why do I feel so alone? There are times I feel I can go on like this for the months to come but sometimes I feel like a child. I just feel the urge to be hugged and held and told that someone is there to take care of me. Looking at my colleagues I feel stupid even thinking about this because they are so independent and mature which is why the best resort is my blog. I can vent all my emotions no matter how vague they may seem. My manager is one bitch of a female and she drives me crazy with every single word that pops out of her lips. I wish somebody could tell her that the first rule about good customer service is to smile. Take my advice and never work under a Chinese employer. This advice comes from personal experience.

Regardless of the hell I go through at work, I still try and enjoy my time since I know one fine day I will be looking back and cherishing these very moments. So as the clock struck eight, I went for a walk on the beach and then decided to return to my halls of residence by foot. The sky looks lovely tonight and the moon has a round rainbow bordering it. No, I am not kidding when I say this as I surely did see a rainbow or so it seemed with the colours all bright and beautiful.

Here's a toast to the next semester.

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A note for the readers

Dear Stranger,

We've shared a one sided relationship over the past few years. It began for us in 2003 when I started my first blog. A few years later I decided against it due to two chief reasons- I wasn't a regular and my writing credentials were best portrayed in my diaries. Somehow the idea of seeing my neat handwritten journals gave me a far greater sense of satisfaction than Microsoft word ever could. It seemed (and still does) to me a feat I achieved minus automatic spell checks and grammatical corrections; a very important one at that and one which I carry till date.

Back in the blog industry for a second time, this was supposed to be my secret haven. A much needed outlet to pour my deepest thoughts. Regrets I may have, anger I may want to unleash, opinions I may want to make and hidden feelings I might want to express. Things haven't exactly worked out according to plan. Strange as it may sound, I feel a constant fear of being judged according to my writings. As a result, these posts represent only a decent chunk of what I may have liked to say otherwise. I constantly keep you in mind. You may or may not know me but it does not stop me from getting paranoid nonetheless. So if you are here today hoping to know my deepest secrets, don't bother to read further. Technology can only get you this far.