Seated in the balcony of Summit Barsana in Kalimpong, I felt this instant desire to revisit my blog this evening. I am here with my two girls on a trip down nostalgia. This trip is special for my husband as he is here to celebrate his school’s platinum anniversary. The hotel where we are booked has a batch dinner event tonight hence the air is filled with a certain sense of longing for the days gone by. I hear ‘Yeh kaali kaali aankhein’ being belted out in the hall below and I cannot help but feel like capturing this particular moment in my life.
My life has been filled with myriad memories; it almost feels like I have lived three lives in one. First, everything that ensued throughout my school and college years. Second, the year and a half I spent abroad which could easily make up a good chunk of my stories. Third, life post maternity. Each phase felt like the best. From my college days I remember the flat parties, my first kiss, my first and perhaps only real heartbreak, going for communal outings with my PG batchmates. My days abroad are filled with memories straight out of a movie. I am yet to divulge some of the most cherished moments with someone I trust. Till date, when I think of those episodes- visiting the beach at midnight, the real-life train sequence, the Christmas surprise, the late-night walks back to campus, and many more, it feels surreal even thinking about it. Was I privy to these moments or is it a figment of my imagination? Either way, I am thankful it took place.
But the best chapter of my life is undoubtedly the one I am writing right now. Life with my two girls has been nothing short of epic. It came with new challenges, especially having to deal and fight my way through some rather archaic thoughts, but, with time, the storm has passed, the dust has settled and I am now presently cherishing and relishing the sometimes quiet, sometimes loud and energetic moments with my shadows. G, the older one, made me believe having a second child would be a cakewalk, just like it was with her. L, the younger one in age but the older one in terms of attitude, came with a bang. We almost said our goodbyes to the world due to acute pancreatitis in pregnancy. Together, they have added a new meaning to my life. As cliché as it may sound, my maternal avatar has brought a deep sense of accomplishment. The fleeting seconds at the end of the day, when I have these two in my arms, the older one babbling random thoughts and the younger one with her head on my back and the tablet in front of her, is the one I look forward to the most.
After many years of commotion, tonight I am feeling settled. Purani jeans is now playing below. I feel like an old worn-out denim myself, trying my best to stay relevant in a world where I am no longer a ‘baini’ anymore. My thoughts now fast forward to the diamond jubilee celebration. Twenty five years from now I wonder how life would and could change?
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