June 8th 2010: Today my last surviving grandparent passed away. I lost all three of them to shadow, not to shame. I never got an opportunity to meet my paternal grandmother. My dad was ten years old when he said his final goodbye to her. Mum has been really lucky on the other hand. Anyo (grandmother in Sikkimese) was ninety this year.
My concept and way of dealing with death could be best described as over-sensitive. I have always been the person who would cry simply being next to someone who’s just broken, or is breaking, down. It always came down to having the North Sikkim gene in me, courtesy Mum. My mum’s side of the family love to shed a tear or two on every occasion. Just this last Sunday we were coming back from the village and I saw my cousin sister drying her moist cheeks. Reason: we were returning back home which is 40 kms away! That’s them. The pillars of support in every occasion nevertheless.
Over the past few years I have been trying to develop an understanding of the world around me. Buddha’s teaching makes sense and hold so much value and knowledge if applied in the real world. As a beginner, I have been practicing it to some extent and today I had this strange feeling. My understanding of death has changed considerably. It is no longer related to one of grief and loss, but has more to do with accepting departure from this worldly existence and heading towards an afterlife determined according to one’s karma in the present one. As a hardworking, religious, honest lady, she has fulfilled her duties to the best of her abilities and I don’t doubt a happy place for her beyond this world.
June 8th 2010: The day my brush with one of the most beautiful relationships came to an end- that of a grandparent and a grandchild. When we are born, we are totally dependent upon the love and care of someone else for everything. Once past the teenage years, we reach adulthood and begin drifting towards different meanings along the way. As age sets in, past a few decades, we revert back to the beginning. We become kids again; dependent on the love and care of our children or relationships we may have created in our lifetime to help us stand, walk, eat, shower, sleep. We basically see our lives come full circle right there. When life itself comes back to a stage where it all started, how can we not expect everything else to follow the same pattern? Someday I might become a grandparent too and until that moment arrives, I shall never know the joy of being one. But for now I seek refuge in the fact that I have fulfilled my duties of being a granddaughter.
Kenchosum,
I hope Anyo bears the fruits she rightfully deserves. Thuchey for giving me an opportunity to know her in this lifetime. I shall remember her in my thoughts and actions.
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