Pregnancy

If a year back you would have asked me:

What is the one word that scares you?

Pregnancy.

What are you scared of?

Being pregnant.

Why don't you want to marry someday?

Because I don't want to have a baby.

And who do you run away from?

Pregnant women.

For starters, it is ironic that the word itself has my name written all over it. The one incident that shaped this thought in my head took place in 2005. My sister's secret pregnancy left us all shattered. I don't like discussing such personal issues in my blog but today I feel it's about time. Within the past year, I have come to understand a lot of things I misunderstood earlier. I kept holding on to all the negative emotions and memories which was totally wrong on my part. At the end of the day I have a beautiful niece who brightens up our lives.

Today I spoke with G's sister. She is expecting her first baby next month, September 21st to be exact. September 21st! I never thought this one day would mean so much to me. Right now I am very excited and happy. It is in total contrast to what I would have felt just a few months back. Ever since being in this country, I see pregnant girls everywhere. I see young girls, mid twenties, older women with prams and babies. Suddenly I get this urge to be one of them. I want to have a baby! My friend tells me that in British terms it means I am feeling broody. I still have much to achieve before I consider starting a family for real but I was reflecting on my thoughts. How did I change so much? Why do I no longer fear the word or the mere thought of it? Maybe this is what maturity means. Your develop a clear understanding of the subject before coming to any conclusion.

I am extremely happy for my sister. I'm going to be an aunt soon. Come November I shall be greeted by a new member of the family. Yay!